would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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