Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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