I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
