If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
