I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
