D3 body, D1 cock
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize