i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
its not stalking. its research.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
