i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
