i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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