It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize