I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
