I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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