Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
