come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
