Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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