I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
