I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
