He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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