we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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