That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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