You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
