Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she looked like the before picture.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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