so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
