He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
