38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
