Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
