Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
