He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
