yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize