They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
