the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
