omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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