I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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