He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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