What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
