Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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