the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Buhtt sex?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
