so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
