Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
