So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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