Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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