Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
