shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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