then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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