Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
