So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
