I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
