I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
