Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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