She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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