I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
