I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
