just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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