And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
