If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Randomize
