Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
