you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
