fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
