Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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