i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
