his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
