i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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