What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
