Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
