If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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